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Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Emotional abuse has long-term effects to the person who has experienced constant yelling and name-calling. It would be hard to accept your condition if you have been in an abusive relationship. This article will help you identify the problem and work over it.
You would be developing behavioral patterns like remaining aloof, having a low self-esteem and confidence and will make you hate yourself. This is prone to depression and anxiety. The scenario of you being abused will linger in your thoughts. You will be carrying this burden throughout your life and it wouldn’t be easy for you.
Some events of emotional abuse can be traumatizing. You have to deal with this one too. You would think if only there is something that you can eat that would make it vanish forever! But it does not work that way. It’s really that you have to do the work to re frame your memories and re-shape your mindset.
Here are some steps to help you move on:

• They key to healing is Acceptance! You must accept that you are being abused. You will get nowhere if your mind is set into believing that abusive behavior is normal.
• Stop feeling guilty!. You are not responsible for the abusive behavior of your partner.
• What has happened; has happened. In your life, there are bad chapters that you should try to forget.
• Be confident to yourself and realize your self worth.
• Love yourself for what you are and try to remember the kind of person you are before.

You really can’t make a conscious decision to “forget” your past because healing will come with time. If you think counseling is necessary, then find a good counselor. In time you may find someone else to share your experiences with, but that’s not something you should focus on while you’re healing.

The information in your past can help you with your future. Patience and trust is something that you must have inorder to heal the wounds of emotional abuse. If you allow positive things to happen, everything in the past will be recast in a different light.

It is important for you to realize that you have to move on and do what you want in your life.

To your happiness,

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
Claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘

Fighting or arguing is a part of any relationship. Conflict is inevitable for growth in your relationship. Even the strongest relationships can go through some tough times. This article will help you realize whether or not you are handling a relationship in a matured way.
You become an enemy in the eyes of your significant Other if there is a fight between the two fo you. What kind of enemy do you think you are?

Are you a good or bad enemy?

Do you escape and avoid arguments in your relationship?
If you fighting your battles alone, fire against fire, or for your self-defense, or too lazy, proud or stubborn to admit things are not working right, that makes you a bad enemy.
On the other hand, a good enemy does not avoid any arguments. A good enemy listens and makes an effort to solve the conflict. If you have strength if character and abundance of patience, you would be able to handle situations and solve problems easily.

There is desperation, loneliness and need for contact behind the idea of arguing, it is a good sign if you are able to detect these hidden contents.

Signs of being a good enemy to your partner:
You always think about your partner’s feelings, if they feel good about themselves each day. – Be able to say an apology and break communication barriers – Praising your partner whenever they contributed something that helps your relationship – You acknowledge the problems in your relationship and helping you partner understand why it is important to discuss the problems. – You recognize and accept your shortcomings and think of ways for you to become a better partner – You treat your partner with respect and dignity at all times
You get caught in the stresses of daily living and dealing with a difficult partner makes it worse. If you are able to deal with your problems, it shows that you have a skill in fair fighting.

The skills of a good enemy:

• Be able to accept the things that your partner find difficult in your relationship
• Deal with the problems in an calm and self-empowered manner
• Even if your partner can be difficult, you are able to focus the positive energy that enhances the relationship
• Be able to control your emotions, know when to stop and to say enough, and be able to make solid decisions
• Willingness Negotiate a win-win soluton with your partner

You should always work through problems and settle it in a cooperative way. After all, you and your partner thrive in a mutual understanding and peaceful atmosphere. Your goal must be clear, that fighting is not to make you a bad enemy, but rather the opposite.

Is your relationship beyond repair? 
It may not be as bad as you think…as long as you still care.By applying the ideas we offer in the ebook, you will become a Positive Conflict agent, what I call being a “Good Enemy”!
Want to know more?

Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts
PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of ”The Art of Positive Conflicts“

Do you feel like escaping or avoiding any conflict situation?

Do you fear pushed to accept compromises where you don’t get your needs met?

Today I want to discuss with you how to deal with conflicting situations in a constructive way. We are also going to learn more ways on how to deal with the core issues and negotiate a fair solution in every conflict that you encounter.

What if there are more ways of dealing with conflict? What if you could use these opportunities to strengthen and deepen your relationships adding a deep feeling of connection, more meaning and sense of satisfaction?

You may think that avoiding conflict situation to keep the peace, that giving in to other’s demands will protect you from suffering.

But do you feel happy deep inside? Or you are just giving up your own needs of recognition and affection, in exchange of ‘peace’?

Here are some thoughts while dealing with conflictive situations:

• You have to be able to give in once in a while. It is fair for the both of you.
• Just agreed to avoid the silent treatment.
• It may be best to cool it off until you are a bit calmer.
• It is worse hearing the same things over and over again so avoid bringing up the past.

It just seems so easy to ignore the problems or just accept them, than trying to do something about your differences. Especially when you don’t know how to approach the situation.

Over the time, you fall into the habit of acceptance. At your expenses..

Unfortunately, these unresolved issues tend to bulid up inside you and at the end there will be so much accumulate resentment it will be too late for you to save your relationship.

Remember: Small differences arise between people in their everyday lives. If you decide something for your relationship, then both of you should be willing to commit to the resolution that you have made. Conflict becomes necessary at times, it can help save your marriage if done in a thoughtful manner…

Meanwhile, you can wait for your next lesson, coming to your inbox soon!

Neil Warner

PS: Need Results fast?
Visit our site Positive Conflicts , And get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts“

We make relationships to enjoy life. Even it perhaps a lot of sacrifices to keep a relationship and to make it work, many of us want to make these sacrifices just to have near the person we love and care for.

Sometimes it happens that a relationship will end even that there is still love between the partners. This happens when one of the partners makes mistakes often and has a bad behavior towards the other. But usually the one who is guilty for ending the relationship are men who figures out too late how much they cares about the other and wants to change only after lose her.

There is nothing worst that being dumped by the one you loved and wanted to be “the one”. Trying to get a woman back in to your life may be difficult. If you lost your true love because of you and really want to get her back, don’t desperate. Your situation does not have to be hopeless.

At some point in life, we all lose something that we really wish we held on to – in this case, you lost your love and you need to get your ex back. Getting back together with your lost love is not about “getting” them back or even relationship repair. It’s about wining them back. Winning them back implies a few important things. It implies effort on your part.

First off all call her and tell her that you really want to see her. If she wants to take lunch with you make it so your ex notice that you are changed, that you thought about why did she leave you and she had right because there are many reasons why she left. Apologize sincerely.

If she doesn’t want to talk to you by not picking up the phone when you call her, just surprise her by waiting in front of the office where she works and offer to walk her home when she gets off work. But before assure that she is not having a boyfriend yet, because it might happen that someone else is waiting for her so your chances are finished.

Act like you just starting dating, make her feel special. Be honest, and tell her that you still care for her. Use the past to your advantage and let her know that anyone deserves a second chance, that things will be different now. Do not stalk her; she might think that you are very desperate. Just tell her that you are ready to make your relationship a priority in your life.

If you can get her to date you, be positive, laugh and smile. Make her feel good. Subtly touch her while she’s talking. You must raise the level of attraction between the two of you, if she still loves you; you know that she has a weakness towards you.

If she didn’t fall into your arms after your date don’t think all is lost. Call her often and just tell her you care. Also you can make something special for her, such as sending flowers and buy her gifts. Don’t forget about anniversary and birthday.

Email her and let her know that you are available any time if she wants to have a date with you. Also reassure her that you don’t frequent another girls and she is the most important for you.

Be yourself, show her that you don’t play games and your intentions are very sincere. Also, don’t be jealous if she had a date with another guy if she is now ready to get back with you and renounce to the other guy.

With this ways, a little luck and your personal charm you can get your girlfriend back quick.

Click this link To learn more about getting your ex back

Is it any wonder that your strong emotion of anger may hurt, destroy, and poison a good relationship?
Can you overcome your anger, instead of being overcome by it? Yes- if you start changing your attitude in mind. You must stop making an excuse for your negative temper. You must put in mind that anger is your enemy!
Uncontrolled anger can be very devastating. It can reveal your true nature. Anger is a negative emotion and it shatters relationship and breeds violence.

Is It Good To “Let it Rip?”

If you are using this excuse to hurt others, what you do not know is that it escalates anger and it does not help to resolve the situation.

To solve the problem of anger you must recognize the anger within your mind. You must apply practical methods in your daily life to control your anger.

To stop your uncontrolled behavior, you must know its symptoms. You will learn how to recognize them and stop it at an earlier time.

These are the symptoms of uncontrolled behavior:

• Always thinking about detailed plans to commit acts of violence
• Threatening others
• Failing to acknowledge the feelings of others
• Feeling rejected
• Withdrawal from friends
• Loss of temper

So what is the best solution?

You should find out what triggers your anger and then develop strategies to control your anger.

You may also want to ask yourself these questions :

Is your anger important or reasonable enough?

Is it possible that you make the situation complicated?

Some ways to help you control your anger:

Anger Management can help you learn to control your reactions or get rid of the things that enrage you

• Simple relaxation tools can calm down angry feelings such as deep breathing, yoga-like   exercises, visualization of a relaxed experience
• It helps if you change your environment where you can have a fresh view of things and get away from the usual and irritating place.
• Choose less hurtful words and don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say.
• Use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Don’t use sarcastic humor because it will still escalate anger
• Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
• Anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational so always remind yourself that you’re just experiencing some hard times in your life.

Every problem has a solution. But the best mentality is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions

PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts“
You may also want to check out this online anger management class

How to Repair Relationships

There is an olden saying that says, “No man is an island.” An island stands alone surrounded by water, never stirs to be near any separate island, and stands still in any weather or circumstances. Excluding, of course, during earthquakes; then, the island must tremble with the earth. But aside from such a moment, an island is usually a solo, unfettered, and firm construction. The maxim says man is not presumed to be similar to that.

A man relates needs to interact amidst other men and people in order to live and develop as a person and a complex being. Even hermits who preferred that way of living must at times meet with others, and have certainly socialized with others earlier than becoming loners. Medicine affirms this requirement when it proposed that a newborn or an infant when left solo amply without interacting with other people, even if adequately fed all the time, will later on wither and die. (Perhaps out of boredom and ennui.) Man is a societal being.

This relations is named socializing, and the bonds that join are called relationships. Relationship is so much a basic need of living that all creeds stress good relationships as a principal tenet. The Christians’ so-termed Golden Rule, “Do not do unto others what you do not want to be done unto you”, is duplicated by Hinduism’s positive avowal of the same canon. The Eastern religions Shintoism, Taoism, Buddhism also center around the individual’s growth in his style of life, largely in regard with his associates, and in his relations with his neighbors.  

It is in these mixing with his fellows that a man or woman, for the feminists out there discovers the value of associations. Inasmuch as people have dissimilar upbringing, religions, perspectives and a host of other characteristics, inescapably a few of them that are in people will collide and come in conflict countering each other at one time or another. Collisions of individual beliefs and the chafing of sensivity in a man polish his individuality and mental frame, so that his personality may be, later on, termed ‘well-rounded’, able to accept synergistic peripheral conditions whether innate or inflicted by other people or situations, conforming readily to the demands of such conditions.

This capacity to adapt readily and perfectly will in answer extend to him peace and tranquility, because he would not be contradictory with anyone or anything.  Thus individuality contradictions as a natural product of relationships work just to enhance the man in all aspects of his essentiality, and perceptions for his mind. Constant progress will lead, lastly, to perfection, so that possibly this is what theosophy intended when it gave its ultimate purpose in the Biblical passage, “Be perfect as thy Father is perfect.” No on to something a little different, come to our virtual currency store and buy some ff11 gil and improve your overall final fantasy xi experience.

Do you feel that everyday conflicts are becoming increasingly hard to deal with?

Do you have a feeling that you need to defeat the other, in order to restore the balance?

Let’s see why this idea of “winner” and “looser” is at the heart of this constant escalation of arguments…

There may be some reasons that justifies the idea of “winning” over an argument, instead of looking a an issue to be resolved together.

Most of the time it’s just because you have the idea that you fight for a scarce resource; and this forces you to “to win” no matter the costs.

The problem is when it only about “winning” you will see the opponent as someone that has to be defeated, transforming the person you love into an ‘enemy’.

The battle scenario would look like this:

1. The bad one is competing with you for a scare resource.
2. As result of this situation only one of you can be a winner:
3. If you attack first, he will counter attack..
4. If he move first, you will feel compelled to react and ‘defend’ your self.
5. Whatever course of action, the only possible issue will be escalating the dispute.

Things to note here:

• Even if you want to avoid the conflict, inaction will create the conditions for the other to do the first move forcing you to react.
• Unless you step back and find another way, there can not be a real winner. 
  Even if you win over the resources, the price to pay is undermining your relationship.
• If you too afraid to take action and radically change the way you approach this confrontations, the only option left is to fight.
• This over time will result to unresolved and escalated confrontation that ends up with both sides isolated and moving in different directions.
• Failed communication leads to more isolation, pain, and anger.

If you follow this model to the end, sooner or later you will destroy your relationship.

What do you really need to change this pattern?

Remember the real “relationship” lies beneath. It is alive and well and full of love.

Just don’t make this small ‘negotiation’ compromise your relationship.

Using positive techniques on how to manage conflicts, you learn more ways resolve conflicts other than to have a winner and a loser.

Neil Warner

PS: Need Results fast? get your Freen copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts: Transforming Confrontations into Relationship Harmony,”

Do you currently feel that there is a tragic in the midst of your love relationship?

That you no longer speak to one another?

Do you feel that all your dreams, goals, and marriage is falling apart and going nowhere?

Or there is a lack of peace and harmony in your present relationship?

While peace and harmony in your relationship keeps you motivated and productive, conflict results in endless fights, loneliness, resentment, and mistrust. Conflict makes you suffer emotionally, mentally and physically.

You can react on these situations in different ways:

• You may decide to escape; to do anything to avoid another conflict situation: giving in to other demands without being satisfied to yourself, only to keep the peace; settling for second-best place where you don’t ever have to be bothered with anything related to confrontation, challenge, or friction.
• You may fight fire against fire and be more defensive that would result to verbal and physical violence.
• Or you can deny the conflict, hide inside and avoid future conversions on problematic issues
• Or you can avoid future conversations on problematic issues by denying the conflict. It is possible that you can give up and go along with others, forgetting your own interests and finally compromising your soul.
• You can decide to get your own way no matter what, and do “passive aggressive resistance” without ever getting to discuss your behaviour and its impact on the other. Or you can go the way of skilful negotiations, and learn how to talk about difficult issues with the person you love, and explore different sides of dispute and get an agreement.

But I want you to be aware that it is always best to interpret conflict from a different angle:

What if this situation is not an attack to you but a way for this person, to relate to you, a way of calling out for your support, connection and recognition?

A lot of people always assumed that they would be unhappy in their marriage, that nobody can provide them all the respect; space and love they need, because those ideas were too different or exotic to them. They may have read those ideas in my book, but they found them radically different from their own. But those who where able to re-frame the confrontations as a reach out from their partner, now see that things are getting better, that an argument is not about who is right or wrong.

Finally they can feel that they can control in a positive way what happens with their relationships

Remember you deserve a happy life with harmonious relationship with your significant other.

But how can you do it?

The answer is simple…

If each argument is an opportunity to get you two closer, if conflicts can be used to build up the relationship, then there is no need to fear any confrontation… just the opposite!

Neil Warner

PS: Need Results fast?
Visit our site and get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts“

I understand you are more than likely in bits at the moment. Being dumped all of a sudden is a hard pill to swallow. You could well still feel something and hope to get your ex back.

A lot of people when they breakup just accept it and try to move on. But why should we? If you were together for any length of time then there must have been some spark between you both. It should be your choice to try to get your ex back, here are a few things that should help you out.

1 – It’s over but does it mean it’s really over?

It might be over for the time being but there’s no reason not to have another try at it. Especially if it was good before. All too often people just accept things. You don’t have to. You have every right to try and get your ex back. Real love doesn’t die over night.

2 – What should I do now?

This is a great time to give yourself a time out and get your emotions under control. If you go off trying to get back together with your feelings running out of control you could ruin it for good this time. If you can demonstrate to your ex that you are being adult about the split, this will only put you in a good light when you do put you plan to get them back into play.

3 – Do I have a game plan?

You probably don’t have a plan right now and there are two roads you can travel here. Make your own plan up, or use a plan that has been used successfully in the past. OK, so you are maybe thing how do you take a leaf out of someone else’s book? There are volumes written on the internet by people who have done it and are willing to share their knowledge.

4 – Where can I find a plan like that?

Again we have a couple choices here. Every bit of info you seek is out on the web for free. Your problem lies in finding it all and sorting the wheat from the chaff. And there’s a lot of chaff, let me tell you. You can also choose to be smart and get yourself an off the shelf package with everything you need.

If I had to choose I’d be taking the easiest way as time is important here. If your ex dumped you then you can bet they are looking to move on. This is where you can step back in and make them see the error of their ways. To get your ex back, you have to make a move. Before they do!

If you need to discover how to get back together using a step by step system, check out this website…

MakeupNotBreakup.com

… Getting back together should be your choice, not left to chance.

Happiness, as we all know, come from the relationship around you.
Experience tells you that It’s not easy to build a lasting relationship. Somewhere along the road, things will get in the way and you find yourself unable to maintain  your relationship.
One of the hindrances in loving relationships is anger. Anger is a strong emotion. It is one thing that is going to do some damage whether you choose to express it or hold it.
What if you have ever loved someone who has never learned to adjust in his surroundings? Can you imagine what your life would be like in the years to come?
There are situations in a relationship where one becomes really angry or always gets angry on anything and it creates a need to try to control everything. Anger can damage a relationship. The effects of anger can progress from mild irritation, to yelling or maybe physical abuse.
You may argue or fight intensely and anger seems to boil in degrees.

But ask yourself:
Does this help your relationship?

Here’s some facts about anger and how it can destroy your relationship:

• - If anger comes into the surface, it creates drama and crises in the situation, and lingers long after it leaves – It is fueled with a lot of negativity that it can quickly destroy a relationship that as been positive or good for a long period of time.
• - Anger can affect self-esteem and confidence.
• - Anger does affect trust and love.
• - Anger is not a peaceful emotion, it is full of uncertainty and fear, you’ll never know what happens next – Anger makes you say and do things that you will regret for the rest of your life.

If there is too much anger in your present situation or if you are in a relationship with someone who is easily angered, then perhaps you should start thinking if you still have an intimate life with your partner.Because being in a critical situation will make you unhappy and cause more ill feelings towards your partner and eventually would destroy your intimacy.
Intimacy is delicate, once destroyed by anger, it affects trust and honesty. Harsh words, criticism and non-acceptance  are the causes of anger and this can affect the intimacy of your relationship.

Anger can also cause blaming and criticism where you lash out at each other’s feelings.

 Blaming and criticizing also leads to a lack of intimacy and even more conflict in the long run.

Accept and understand eachother to protect a truly valuable emotional bond that you have invested. Do not allow yourselves to erupt without talking what should be done to make things clear. Instead, find ways to discuss it in a civilized manner with a clear mind and open heart.

To your happiness!
Neil Warner,

PS: To know more on Anger Management,
Visit our Site “Positive Conflicts“